


too much space between you and me

by pilindiel



Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood and Injury, Hanahaki Disease, KyoKao Week, Love Confessions, M/M, Major Illness, Mutual Pining, My poor Kaoru why do I do this to him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-11
Updated: 2019-06-11
Packaged: 2020-04-24 10:37:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19171567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pilindiel/pseuds/pilindiel
Summary: Kaoru measures how he falls in love in little moments.The brush of a hand. The sly curve of a smile. The intelligent furrow of a brow.Kaoru would chock such things up to an accident, to typical reactions of any normal conversation, but not with Ootori Kyoya.KyoKao Week Day 2: Horror/Mystery





	too much space between you and me

Kaoru measures how he falls in love in little moments.

The brush of a hand. The sly curve of a smile. The intelligent furrow of a brow.

Kaoru would chock such things up to an accident, to typical reactions of any normal conversation, but not with Ootori Kyoya.

There's something different about the way Kyoya's stare lingers, something different about how he meets Kaoru's eyes when they speak, how he leans just a little closer when he's trying to show Kaoru something on that ever-present tablet.

Little moments. Little things that make Kaoru's heart alight and stomach sink all at once. This constant push and pull that leaves Kaoru wanting.

At night, when he lets his thoughts wander, he entertains the idea that Kyoya would take him if he asks, that this isn't all just in Kaoru's mind, but he never asks. Won't move unless Kyoya does first.

His small world is growing, but has it expanded enough?

Like a tango where their bodies never touch, Kaoru is left aching, pining, and wholly unsatisfied.

It starts as an itch in his chest, like the scratching of a branch against a window pane. It's not painful, but it gnaws at something deep inside him and Kaoru finds himself subconciously rubbing at the spot during the day.

The night makes the ache worse, every breath a wheeze. Kaoru's already restless sleep is awoken with a start and he barely makes it to the restroom before his stomach lurches.

He gags, tastes the bitter tang of blood in his mouth and spits into the toilet to rid himself of the metallic.

Sweating, exhausted and head reeling, he leans against the cool porcelain to catch his increasingly difficult breath. Tears prick his eyes just as bile burns the back of his throat.

Mixed in with all the blood are vibrant, white petals.

White and flowing – stunning like a dancer – and Kaoru has to laugh through the tears.

Gardenias. Secret love.

It figures.

Kaoru stands shakily and watches the pristine flowers swirl down the drain.

The stems in his lungs shiver as he tucks himself back into bed.

* * *

The flowers grow as the weeks press on - Kaoru can feel them begin to take root in his lungs. The scratching grows raw, like picking at an open scab, and it hurts to breathe more often than not.

But Kaoru is a host. He has years of practice pretending he's not on the brink of falling apart.

Or so he would like to believe.

They've finished club activities for the day and Kaoru is about to breathe a shallow sigh of relief when he hears a voice behind him – cool like rainwater and smooth as silk.

“You seem preoccupied with something today,” Kyoya says. Kaoru turns, watches as Kyoya stops typing something on his tablet to spare him a glance. “Is something the matter?”

The flowers shudder.

“Nothing in particular,” Kaoru muses, shooting him a Hitachiin-worthy smirk, “Why? Are you finally accepting your 'mom' role and checking up on your children?”

The twitch to the corner of Kyoya's lips rattles Kaoru's heart.

“Hardly,” Kyoya retorts. There's a beat where Kaoru is certain it ends there, but then -

“Take care of yourself,” Kyoya continues quietly, “Please.”

Kaoru plays it off, nods and chuckles even as the leaves scratch at his throat.

“Of course, senpai,” Kaoru says, gentle as he slaps Kyoya's shoulder, “Can't go making a scene and ruining the club now, can I?”

* * *

He wakes up in a sweat, choking on stamens, leaves, lively yellow pollen.

Lungs revolting, he gags, breath shallow and unsatisfying.

Hikaru wakes up across the room and Kaoru can't even muster up the energy to care when he rushes over, voice high pitched and panicked.

Kaoru knows he sees the red on his silken pillowcase. Sees the delicate curve of the flowers, dotted prettily with droplets of blood.

Hikaru rubs gentle circles into Kaoru's back until the hacking subsides, but the damage is done.

“I need to get new sheets,” Kaoru murmurs.

He tries to ignore the way Hikaru's hand tightens in his shirt.

“Who is it?” he asks, barely controlling his anger.

Kaoru laughs, bitter and small. “You already know.”

“I'm going to rip him apart, Kaoru,” he spits, moving to stand, “How _**dare**_ he - ”

“Don't tell him,” Kaoru pleads. Hikaru falters, frustration replaced with fear.

“Kaoru - ” Desperate. Fragile.

“ _ **Please**_.”

“It'll kill you,” Hikaru whispers, eyes already welling with tears. He never was the stronger one.

Kaoru takes his brother's face in his hands, thumbs catching wayward droplets, and smiles.

“You're always so dramatic,” Kaoru teases softly, ignoring the quivering of petals in his throat, “I'll be fine.”

* * *

Hikaru tells him not to go to school.

Begs him, really, tells Kaoru to rest and take a day, but Hikaru knows by now that it's a fool's errand.

Hitachiin's are nothing if not stubborn.

“It'll be _**fine**_ ,” Kaoru promises, “I've made it this far, haven't I?”

Hikaru looks doubtful, but Kaoru marches him to the car all the same, no matter how gapingly raw his chest feels.

The day passes by in a haze. Kaoru is feverish – that awful flushing to his cheeks and the daze that comes along with it – punctuated by the sharp pain of the gardenias winding their spiderweb roots through his lungs. They tear at delicate veins and tissue, scrape against his fragile larynx, but he makes it through the regular school day without incident.

“Just another two hours,” he promises when Hikaru confronts him outside the club room, “Please?”

Hikaru concedes on the terms that Kaoru let him know before it gets unbearable.

If only Kaoru knew his limits.

The pain is real. Sharp.

Breathing hurts. His world spins.

He doesn't have time to catch himself.

The cries of the host club's guests are piercing, but can't make himself move, can't stop the frantic rise of panic in the crowd.

“ _Kaoru-kun!”_

“ _Someone help!”_

“ _He's...That's so much blood - ”_

“ _Oh god, are those petals?!”_

“ _Kaoru - !”_

It all fades into nothing, gardenias reaching toward the sun as Kaoru succumbs to the dark.

* * *

He wakes up sore, throat burning and chest heavy. He's roused by the faint, pretty smell of flowers and immediately his nose scrunches in disgust.

“Damn that old hag,” Kaoru groans, turning away from arrangement as the world starts to settle and his vision clears.

His heart constricts, the flowers trembling in his chest, but _**oh**_ , Kaoru has to smile.

“Kyoya-senpai...” he whispers.

“Gardenias,” Kyoya muses, “Understated and gentle, but sophisticated.” He shoots Kaoru a smile that sends the petals in his chest shaking. “They suit you.”

Kaoru would laugh at the absurdity if he could muster the energy.

“I suppose I can't change your mind about getting them removed?” he asks quietly, pensive.

“And lose how I feel?” Kaoru croaks. He has to force himself to look away. “Not a chance.”

“May I ask who it is?” Kyoya murmurs, fingertips soft as they dance across the back of Kaoru's hand.

“You may,” Kaoru wheezes, “But you may not like the answer.”

“Tell me,” Kyoya urges.

The pressure in Kaoru's chest is immense, and he's so tired he doesn't even know if it's from the flowers anymore. He coughs, gardenia sweet on his tongue, and closes his stinging eyes to the inevitable.

“You.”

It's the last thing he says before the medication kicks in and darkness takes him again.

* * *

When he wakes next, there's a cold, plastic tube down his throat and he can barely keep his eyes open.

God, he's so tired. Has he ever been this tired?

It's dark out, but there's movement to his side. He tries to turn and look but the stems scream in protest. It hurts. Everything hurts.

“Kaoru,” a voice says. Gentle, like cool water against his feverish skin. He knows it so well, memorizes the way it lilts the consonants with trembling reverence.

 _Kyoya-senpai..._ he wants to say, but all he manages is a fragile wheeze.

Tears prick Kaoru's eyes.

 _Why?_ He wants to cry, _Why is he still here?_

“I'm sorry,” Kyoya murmurs, “I...I never thought that this could...” A swallow. Trembling fingers brush Kaoru's cheek and catch his stray tears.

“I'm a foolish man,” Kyoya continues, “Foolish to believe I could wait. Foolish to believe neither one of us would be hurt as I did.”

A hitch of Kyoya's breath. A kiss to Kaoru's knuckles he barely feels. The flowers tremble and Kaoru can feel them on the back of his pallet, desperately reaching towards the light.

“I can't lose you,” Kyoya breathes.

Kaoru's heart catches. He can't stop his tears. Neither can Kyoya.

“Please,” Kyoya rasps, warm hands clasped tightly around Kaoru's cold ones, “I love you.”

Like a shock of electricity, Kaoru's entire body convulses. He can distantly hear panicked voices, distorted by the ringing in his ears, and he gags around the tube in his throat, desperate to dislodge it.

It's eased out slower than Kaoru or his body would like, and he immediately grabs the nearest trashcan as ash and bile force their way out of his stomach. He retches out the roots, limbs shaking as flowers scrape out of his throat, and he can barely hear the gentle words of encouragement from his mother as she rubs soothing circles against his back.

His whole body is throbbing when he finishes and the nurse eases him back into a sitting position once the worst of it has subsided.

Kaoru glances blearily around the room and for the first time in months, he takes a breath and feels it settle deep inside him.

With a cry, Hikaru launches himself across the room and into Kaoru's arms, blubbering into his shoulder.

“Didn't I tell you I'd be fine?” Kaoru jokes, voice wet and raw. It only makes Hikaru sob harder, hold him tighter, and Kaoru returns the embrace, meeting Kyoya's relieved, gentle smile with a small, nervous one of his own.

It still takes several days for the rest of the roots to dislodge, and Kaoru is kept on bed rest, must to his chagrin.

“If I could manage with the damn thing inside me,” he insists, “Then I'm perfectly capable now.”

Kyoya smirks, leaning back in his resident chair at Kaoru's side.

“I wouldn't call collapsing during the club 'managing'.”

Kaoru frowns. Purses his lips. “I already told you I didn't want to make a scene.”

Kyoya raises an eyebrow, amused. “A Hitachiin not wanting to make a scene?” he muses, “Perish the thought.”

Kaoru smacks Kyoya's arm as he laughs, welcoming the comfort as Kyoya inches just the slightest bit closer.

“You're not helping,” he teases.

Kyoya smiles, fingers intertwining with Kaoru's. “No,” he whispers, “I'm not.”

Kaoru's heart skips, but he takes comfort knowing another heart in the room is just as fluttering as his.

 

**Author's Note:**

> HAPPY KYOKAO WEEK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> I apologize for any dependencies, I actually didn't read this over to see how it flowed, simply because I really wanted to post it in time orz. Expect some updates to it later!
> 
> I was trying SO HARD to keep myself to 1000 words or less for each day but I missed yesterday so consider this a conciliation? (Not that I don't have most of yesterday written, but it's smut and I'm always nervous about posting that!)
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the angst <3
> 
> Check out the other prompts on[tumblr](https://kyokao-week.tumblr.com/) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/KyoKaoWeek)!
> 
> HMU on [tumblr](http://pilindiel.tumblr.com/) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/pilindiel) !


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